my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
