i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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