Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
