Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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