Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
