With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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