I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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