based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
