I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
