but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
