seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
