I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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