She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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