Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Randomize
