S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
