Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We got so high we made milksteak
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
