So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
