How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
