clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
