He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
