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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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