a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
