do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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