so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
