NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
