Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
