First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He? As in you personified your dick?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
