the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
