you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
