you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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