I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
