The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
