Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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