We're facebook friends in real life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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