you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
