My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
