my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he shaved USA in his pubs
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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