she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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