are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
one two three fourrrrnication!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
