i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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