I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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