sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
