Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
