somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
