Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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