Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
