So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
