I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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