why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
