He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
