Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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