so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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